False 1992 Cork News 1992 A Memorial Stone was erected in St. Finbars. Cork Corporation contacted ISANDS as they wanted to give a plot in St. Catherines Cemetery, Kilcully, Cork for babies who died at or around the time of birth. A Memorial Stone was erected bearing words from the Book of Jeremiah: “ Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you came to birth I consecrated you” isands newsletter 103

False We will meet in another time, another place but she will always be in my heart January 27th, l 99l, Today, you are eighteen months old and I have intended to put pen to paper since you were born but couldn’t put my mind to it until’ now. This is the story of your twin sister, Mary- Frances, who ‘ didn’t live and of your own shaky start to life. I got pregnant around, Nov- Dec 1988 and I was glad because this was to be my last pregnancy. Your brother and sister, Brendan born 2/ 9/ 1986 and Deirdre born 7 / 3/ l988 were very young, at the time and I was still working.. I had my fi rst appointment with my doctor on the 14/ 2/ 1989.’ He told me that you were due to be born around Aug. 15th but also told me that I needed to have a scan done as scan as possible . He re- assured me that nothing was wrong but he needed to verify the date. I was a little worried because I didn’t have to have a scan when I was pregnant with Brendan and Deirdre. However, during the scan, the nurse pointed out your little heart beat and I was relieved and thought everything was alright. Afterwards, she told me to wait in the Waiting Room until she came to see me. It was then she told me that I had started with a twin pregnancy. One baby was fi ne but the other one wasn’t living. Her words hit me like a tonne of bricks and sent my mind reeling. It came as a great shock to fi nd out all at once that I was pregnant with twins and that me wasn’t living. I still pregnant and at the same tine had lost another baby. I felt a mixture of emotions of sadness, loss and relief all at the same time. I could hardly take in what was happening. I heard myself ask several times was the other baby alright. The nurse was very sympathic and re- assured me again and again. I met my doctor and he told me that it was a common occurrence in twin pregnancies. It was no consolation to me to hear this. I left the hospital with tears running down my face and drove home. I told your Dad and it also came as a complete shock to him but he was stronger and supportive. I couldn’t think straight. I felt deep sadness and a wave of different emotions for a baby that wasn’t even born. It seemed that I had no control over it. After about six weeks I made a decision to try and put it out of my mind and continue on as best I could for your sake. I continued to go for scans on a regular basis and I remember during one when the nurse showed me one of your tiny arms and your heart beating. It was wonderful to see and the nurse assured that you were doing fi ne. However, in my heart and soul I knew that things were different. As the pregnancy progressed, I didn’t feel any movement or kicking when there should have been. I was extremely big in comparison to my two other pregnancies. Instinct and intuition told me that all was not well, I was worried, extremely tired and tried to remain calm and rational. On June 30th I had a regular appointment with my doctor. He told me that I was to be taken into hospital, the baby was very small and had stopped growing. I felt numb. Arrangements were made for Brendan and Deirdre to stay with your Grand Mother It was a beautiful sunny day when’ I went into the pre- natal ward. Your dad was with me. I was to stay there for the next four weeks waiting for the birth. You were born by C. Section on July 27th 1989 at 11.51 am. When I awoke after the operation your dad was there. He told me that we had a little girl weighing 3LB 10OZ. You were in the Neonatal Unit. I felt relief and joy that you were ok. I asked about your twin. There was to be a post mortem and there was little information until the results. It is impossible to describe at that moment how I felt, thoughts and feelings are still blocked out of my mind. I knew that I was going to have just one baby. I had to concentrate my mind on you getting well. I could talk freely about the fact that I just had twins but was somehow emotionally detached. When I think about it now I must have appeared quite level headed about it. At this stage we didn’t have any names picked for either of you. I held you for the fi rst time the day after you were born. You were small but perfect. Days passed, you got an infection, lost weight and at times forgot to breathe, which I was told often happens to premature babies. I thought the worst but the medical staff were very reassuring. The results of the post mortem isands newsletter 104