False 2003 And then there were ten... It is hard to believe that almost ten years has passed since my daughter Ruth died. At the start, each day seemed like ten years long and back then, I could never have imagined getting through ten years but I have. ISANDS has played a huge role in my life since her death. Firstly where I turned to for support and in my own time, my own contribution to the organisation to support and help other parents and families in her memory. In ten year Ruth has inspired much that is good both at a very public level and more importantly in my own private life. I could say so many loving things about her and God knows I have but I can’t but feel proud and want to boast, just like I would if she was alive. For those of us who are lucky enough to have other children; from the moment they are born we quickly realised how much they need us to do things for them. We are there to encourage their growth, to enable their development, to speak up for them, protect and love them. We can get involved in mother/ toddler groups at an early stage, go on to become members of parent teacher associations, facilitate and support their roles in sport and other interests, help organise fund-raising events in aid of their schools, colleges.... and so on! I see my role for my daughter Ruth no differently to that of my living son Simon. I have done all those things mentioned for Simon and in a different way in her memory and to help other parents and families who have and will follow and that feels good. It has been part of my healing as a bereaved mother. Don’t get me wrong, I have missed desperately being able to take my daughter to mother/ toddler groups, her fi rst day at school and all her days at school and speaking up for her needs. She would now be almost ten years of age and ~ I listen and observe others with their ten- year old daughters and wonder ‘ what we would be at.’ I used to wonder through the last ten years would those wondering thoughts go away but for me they haven’t and I now believe they never will. Ruth is part of my landscape for the rest of my life , she will quite probably colour what I see and how I hear and to be honest, that’s fi ne. Ruth changed me and that’s the part of her I get to keep. Ron Smith- Murphy isands newsletter 60

False Pink Bundle I can’t for a moment consider The loss that you endure Like others I’m afraid to say I’ve stayed away from your door It’s not because I’m scared or uncaring It’s only because I don’t want to expose Your already shattered feelings And no need to voice again, The pain you already know. For one brief moment in time You had your hearts desire The gamut of emotions raged Through you like a fi re Excitement, joy, sorrow and grief Bewilderment and anger too All have shaken you like a leaf And sliced your heart in two You have a little angel When you wanted a little girl God works indeed in mysterious ways As your destiny begins to unfurl I wish I knew the answer Why you’ve had to bear such pain But I’m only a useless mortal And I seek the truth in vain A rose is a rose in June And also in December And I’ll never see one again But that I will remember Petal soft skin sweetly smelling fresh A downy head upon a pillow Pink bundled into loves parcel A baby’s breath upon my neck To my darling sister, I can’t give you anything except My love and a few words from my heart Helen Gilsenan xxxx Sweet Patrick, Beautiful Patrick, Our Patrick We will convalesce With your untouchable purity of mind Sweet Patrick, we will walk on Never forgetting how preciously and unique you are Beautiful Patrick, you will never be lonely Your brother held your hand on earth And past relatives are holding you in their arms in Heaven Our Patrick, remember our love for Daire Mirroring our love for you Every time we look into Daire’s eyes We will see you too. Innocent Patrick, we will look forward to meeting you again The sun will set but we wont forget. Elaine Flynn- Hogan To Beth Rose God made the world and all we see and are and have and do, And to make us better people, Beth, God made you, God gave you a little time; your never saw the sun, Or sucked or cried or laughed or spoke or run. And we, who had great hopes for you amid this world of strife, Must thank the Lord for giving us you lovely little life He gave you perfect human form, so beautiful and still, And it is very hard for us to understand his will. Your mother felt your every move; the scan could see you clearly Your proud and grieving Mam and Dad so love you very dearly Gods moves in such mysterious ways we do not understand But yours is love and mercy Lord and might is your hand Dear Beth you came at Easter tide when everything is growing And God’s creation beautiful and all the farmers sowing, And all the wonders of the world, you would have loved to see, Like primroses and little lambs and leaves upon the tree. You came to us in Holy Week, when we who’d better be, Remember Jesus love for us, who died to set us free And we remember too his words, to let the children come, To nestle in His bosom and He will bring them home So sleep dear little one in peace, may angels guard your rest, It’s easy to imagine you in Heaven with the Blest. Written by Beth Roses Grandfather isands newsletter 61