False 2001 For Joseph For I know that you will keep him near And now... I close my eyes to say goodbye And watch him fl y away with you Please keep him Lord and love him ‘ till I get my wings and join you too. Read at Joseph McHugh’s funeral by his Dad, Conor. Lord, today I sent my baby to you Please give him wings and let him fl y He’s new at this so take it slow Teach him how they fl utter by I’ll miss him so, though we’d never met And I’ll never know his smile But you need him and now he’s yours He was only mine awhile He’ll never know pain And he’ll never know fear Ashley Ashley our teddy bear, Ashley our dove, Ashley our ray of light, who we will always love, Ashley, our little rose, on which the sun didn’t shine Ashley always in my head, always in this heart of mine. God thought you were so special and from the sky you’re always peeping, put you back in his pocket, just for safe keeping! This poem was written by Cliona O” Malley in memory of her brother, Ashley on his 7th Birthday An Angel If I stood on the moon and touched the hem of an angel I would banish your pain with a wave of a wish I have no star If I stood on the moon I would catch your heart That’s fallen to the ground And wrap it in cloths woven with rainbows I have no rainbow. The silent touches of time Keep me standing with hope In case wishes are rainbows And stars are angles. Olive Ann Smith isands newsletter 68

False Dear Oisin, Every breath I take, I’m thinking of you. When I wake up, your precious face is looking at me. I never knew how much love I had to give you until I set eyes on you. With your tiny button nose and your long fi nger. Yo are beautiful. I think of you and want to hold you. Kiss and cuddle you, bath you, feed you, put you to sleep and dress you. I want to tell you how lovely you are and sing to you. I know you would be a happy child as I would have been so happy to have you here. I know my brothers and sister and your cousins would have spoilt you with love. Your Nanny Kelly would have ruined you and made sure you got your vegetables and knitted you nice jumpers. She would be singing “ Oh Oisin, you’re a lovely boy, your gorgeous” She would have made sure you weren’t too bold!!! I don’t know if you would have been a good football player but I would love you anyway. I could have helped you with your home- work and when you got bigger you could have stayed in your cousins overnight and had lots of fun. And all the excitement when Santa Clause would come to our house. Oh, Oisin I miss you so much. Life is not the same without you. I love you so much Oisin, I want to hug you ages. Love mammy xxxx Yvonne Kelly The New ISANDS Internet Site - www. isands. ie Nearly three years ago now, I fi rst searched the internet for information about still births. It was one of the places where, in the quiet of the evening when our kids were in bed and my wife still in the hospital that I looked for information on stillbirths – I found a few internet sites but nothing particularly relevant to us at the time. It was October 1998 and just a few days before our third baby was due, she died. We had never experienced anything like this before and even on the way to the hospital I didn’t think that something like this was actually happening, but it was and the next day, Saturday we had a baby girl, Sophie who was still born. We were lucky to be in a hospital where attention and care were given in an unselfi sh and abundant fashion. We were given the “ A Little Lifetime” book and this was our fi rst exposure to an experienced opinion, of which we were in bad need. Awareness of the scale and issues surrounding neonatal death and stillbirths came to us from others who had taken the time to write about their experiences and indeed we met other parents through the ISANDS group who also told us their stories and while these are very personal matters to contend with, knowledge in the form of awareness of other people’s problems always helps. We had two children already and another baby since Sophie was born but she remains a very important part of our family. For a long time afterwards we seemed to drift and I would tell our story to people and in particular friends who seemed to listen and genuinely care. But the inevitability of life going on happens and when a friend of mine offered to create an internet site for the ISANDS group, well I was very happy. And so the idea of www. isands. ie was hatched and over a few months the content was put together – most of it had to be re- typed ( so don’t give out about any spelling mistakes). Now it’s there I feel better and maybe some day, some other Mum or Dad might be sitting down and maybe would like to fi nd out more but doesn’t want to talk, well then thy can visit www. isands. ie. An additional potential benefi t from the site is that it has been set up to take secure credit and laser card donations online, so if you want to spread the word and if people wish to make a donation online, they can. The donations can be recorded in memory of a baby and a certifi cate sent if requested. The service is a secure one, so no worries about your credit card numbers being intercepted. Many thanks to Ron and the other parents that we met in ISANDS and a big thanks to our friend, Stuart who reacted the way he did and put ISANDS on the internet. Colm & Niamh Lyon isands newsletter 69