Call me Colette. I would like to tell you about my little angel, William David. On the 12th June 1969, I was sent to the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast. They told me I had to stay in for bed rest but I was allowed to walk about. After a few days a nurse brought myself and five other ladies to have X- rays. The five ladies came back with their X- rays but I did not. I worried about it and after two days passed and no one said anything about it I asked the nurse about my X- ray. She said it had nothing to do with me. A few days later I asked the Staff nurse and she said the same thing, then a doctor came to see me and I asked him about my X- ray. The doctor told me that there was something wrong with my baby. I asked what it was and he told me that my little angel had anencephaly and that my baby would not live after he was born. My world fell apart and I wondered would the doctor be wrong, how could this happen, why was this happening? My baby was due on the 19th July but they took me to another part of the hospital where they were to induce my labour. A nurse stayed in the room but was distracted reading a book. I called out and told her my baby was born and she said " how would you know that as your baby's head is not developed." I was frightened and scared of what was happening. Then a doctor came in and lifted the sheets and saw that my little angel was born. I asked to see my baby and hold him but the doctor said no. He said to the nurse " take it away," not my baby but ' it'. He then gave me a needle which knocked me out. When I woke there was a big nurse ( and I mean big) kneeling on my tummy. She said she was putting pressure on my stomach to get the after birth away. After two days they said that I could go home. I asked the doctor would I be able to have other children and he said they would most likely be Down Syndrome or retarded. I was only 20 years old at the time. I had no one to talk to. Society didn't allow mothers like me to talk about our grief. I, like others was told to go home and forget about it. But I couldn't and I didn't. I thought about William David every day, cried and cried for my little boy, wondering what they did with him. Wanting to hold him close and feel him again, just like I had for the nine months I carried him. It was a lonely time and I felt isolated. I tried to be strong as others expected me to be but it was hard. Before Williams birth I had three miscarriages and following his death I had two miscarriages. Each time I felt a deep sense of loss in my life and for my future without them. Thank God, I went on to have three beautiful daughters and a wonderful son. My life also went into turmoil when my son was born with heart problems which needed medical attention and many sleepless years of worries went with that but thankfully everything was worth it and he is healthy now. I am also blessed to have eleven grand children and three step grand children. I often wonder who David William would have looked like or which one of my other children would his personality be like. This is the first time I have written about my son, it is sad to be writing for the first time 40 years after his birth but like finding his grave and getting his Stillbirth Certificate I now feel that I can tell my story and acknowledge that a mothers love for her child is forever. William David Born and passed away 19th June 1969 I will never forget you my little angel. Colette Walsh Belfast William David ... I will never forget you, my Angel 11 isands newsletter

This is my story. This is the story of my son Maximilian. When my husband and I first found out that I was pregnant we were absolutely over the moon. This was our dream come true, we had planned to be pregnant and we were so excited about our first baby. The pregnancy was going really well, I was not sick or did not have any other early complaints. My visits with the GP were fine and I was very excited about the first scan, the first sight of my baby. The first sign of something going wrong was when we eventually went for the booking scan at 18 weeks. There were cysts on the baby's brain, we did not know his sex or name yet, but we were told not to worry and come back in four weeks. Of course, we were worried and I knew in my heart that our first baby was not going to be the way I thought it would be. On the day of the second scan, four weeks later on September 4th 2008, the cysts had not gone away. I was very nervous during the scan and I could see the cysts myself, I did not need anyone to tell me. I will never forget the time the nurse spent scanning my little precious baby. I knew that there was more to come and I was eager to find out the sex of our baby. We were told that our first child was going to be a boy. We knew there and then that he was going to be called Maximilian. We wanted our baby to have a name and be a person. The consultant was called in for further scanning. She told us that there were a few signs that pointed towards Trisomie18, Edwards Syndrome: he had a very pronounced gap between the big toe and the next toe, his hands were not opening and closing and, of course, the cysts on his brain. We were advised to avail of the services in Dublin to have an amniocentesis done, if we wanted certainty. The consultant gave us her mobile number to ring her the next day and let her know what we had decided. We were also due to go on a week's holiday to Sweden two days after this scan. The consultant thought this might be a good idea in order to come to terms with our new situation. She also advised us not to go online in order to find out details about Trisomie18 just yet. Once we left her office I broke into tears. I can't remember any other feeling than extreme emptiness and helplessness. Once we were at home I spent the rest of the day in bed, mostly asleep and if I was awake I was crying. My husband was the same. We rang our parents and cried into the phone to them as well. Needless to say I did not go into work the next day. We decided to go to Dublin to get the amniocentesis Maximilian Fenton isands newsletter 12