The next day all your family came and visited us. They looked after mummy and daddy. Somehow we got through another day and night. Sunday came, the day of your birth. Mummy and daddy went into hospital. We felt strangely calm and strong. So many people had put us in their thoughts. All our good friends and family. Even Canon Des had asked people in Taney to pray for us. Maybe this had all helped. Mummy took more tablets and mummy and daddy walked in Merrion Square. It was sunny, strangely it had been sunny since we heard the news on Friday. It was somehow inappropriate.beautiful days when something just so dreadful had happened. It felt like the world should end too. But then it was comforting to have the sun shine.In the afternoon mummy went into strong labour. She was in a lot of pain. Daddy felt hopeless like he wasn't helping. But we knew just by being there it was all that was needed. He protected us again, little Dylan. As he always had.By the evening mummy didn't think she could cope with the pain. She demanded an epidural. The Doctor came and just as mummy was about to get the injection you helped me and took the pain away. You arrived into the world. There you were. They put you up in my arms in a blanket. You were so, so perfect. You were warm. You were mine and daddys. Oh just so beautiful. My wide cheeks, your daddy's nose. You looked like both of us. Your little lips were like perfect rosebuds. You skin was so soft. Your hands so perfect. Your little nails looked like they had nail varnish on. They were just so pink and tiny. You feet just like your daddy's .long and thin. Your expression just so peaceful. Like you were asleep in my arms. We loved you so much. Our beautiful son, Dylan John Chapman had been born and he was everything and more than we imagined. Your daddy held you too. Then we called our family and they came to meet you. Your Nanny Ros, your Granddad Louis, Uncle Allan and Auntie Jean. We all held you and talked to you and loved you. We took lots of pictures so we'd always remember you. But mummy and daddy will of course never forget. Mummy was so proud of what she and daddy had created. Our precious, precious one. It wasn't meant to be like this but I wouldn't have swapped those hours as they were our special time. Our families went home. We stayed with the lovely midwife, and made plaster casts of your foot and hand prints. We laughed as we didn't know how to make the plaster and almost blocked up the hospital sink pouring our failed attempts down! You were there with us sharing this joy, doing the arts and crafts that I always imagined we would do. I never thought I'd feel so much joy in a time of great sadness. We held you again and felt peace. You had given us strength our precious, beautiful angel.The next day we struggled with a lot of feelings and decisions. What was best to do? Find the answers? Did we want to put you through anything more? We had a naming service for you our Dylan and I held your little hands again. Mummy and daddy held you in our arms. I showed you the butterflies on the wall, as mummy loves butterflies. We made sure you were safe and looked after and went home.Life has been a daze since. Lots of preparations and decisions to make. It's all a bit of a haze. It wasn't meant to be like this. It shouldn't have been like this. This isn't fair, you were just so perfect. You were our hopes and dreams. Our future. Our precious, precious first born son. Dylan. We love you. You will always be part of our lives. You gave us the happiest year of our lives, so much joy and excitement as we got ready to prepare for you being part of our family. We're sure you are giving us strength now to get mummy and daddy through these hard times. Oh Dylan, our precious son. So beautiful and with us for such a short time. Our sleeping angel. Look after yourself our precious one. We hope you are comfy and snugly up in heaven with your Uncle John , Auntie Louise, Granddads and Nanny's looking after you and having fun with your Uncle Max. We'll never forget you and love you forever more.Love your mummy and daddyX X X X foreverSarah Chapmanmoments15

It was my easiest pregnancy so far. I had all day sickness for the entire 9 months of my sons pregnancy 8 years before and the same again on my twins 2 years ago. I joked with my husband that it was going so well that I might even consider a couple more!I'd my booking in visit in the hospital at 12 weeks and we were delighted to see a little baby on the screen somersaulting and waving. I had a miscarriage 7 months before this pregnancy and so we weren't able to relax until after this scan. We told everyone then and I was delighted to be in maternity clothes for the summer showing off my baby bump.I'd had so many scans and check ups on the twins that I found it a bit strange that I was seen very little this time around but was happy in the knowledge that my baby was growing well and very very active.My 36 week check up in the hospital was on the 21st of December, just a few days before Christmas and we were all so excited. It was the first year the twins (just 2 since October) really understood what was going on and they couldn't wait for Santa to come and bring them presents. They also knew their little brother or sister would be coming out of mammy's tummy very soon.I headed off to the hospital on my own that morning. My husband had taken the day off work but as it was so close to Christmas everyone was busy and no one was available to mind the 3 kids, so he stayed with them. It had been snowing a lot and the roads weren't great so I left early and had lunch in a friends beforehand. That's the last time I was perfectly happy, looking forward to my family coming to stay with us for Christmas and awaiting my new little bundle with such excitement.I wasn't even due a scan, I just happened to mention to the consultant that I thought the baby was still breech so he decided to do one to check the lie of the baby. He showed me the strong heart, the kicking legs and then he went quiet, he spent ages moving the thing over my belly and kept saying he couldn't get a proper look at the head. He then asked me to wait in the room while he went to check if there was someone in radiology still working, to get a better scan. At this stage I rang my husband and told him I thought there was something wrong with our baby, but I was thinking a cleft palate, or down syndrome... I never dreamed for a second my baby was going to die.The serious face of the radiographer said it all, the silence of the two doctors as they scanned me was terrifying. I was told my baby had anencephaly, the most serious fetal abnormality possible and 'was not compatible with life'. I broke down. The doctor rang my husband and told him. I was then left for a few hours with a midwife while my husband tried to organise someone to mind the children and someone else to drive him to the hospital, the roads were treacherous at this stage. We rang our families and let them know and went home for the most difficult Christmas I hope I will ever have to get through. We did our best (and so did our families) to make it a good one for the kids but it was torture. How could this lively baby inside me not be healthy and well? I had to Google anencephaly. Apart from the midwife telling me it was a neural tube defect affecting the development of the brain and skull, I wasn't given any information. I looked at a few pictures to prepare myself but they only managed to scare me more. I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to look at my baby, that I wouldn't instantly love him or her. I felt like a terrible person, but my husband reassured me that whatever happened he would be there for our little one and hold them and care for them as long as they lived... if we were lucky enough for our baby to be born alive.I chose to have a c-section the 30th of December. My family were still staying with us so we had Doireanns Little Lifetimemoments16